One Painful Star
I explained it below ;)
I explained it below ;)
A suit you say? I was SOLD! and that blurb?
We meet every Wednesday night in hotel room #364. We stay there until morning--kissing, laughing, healing one another. We're both broken people, him with his alcoholic family, me with my murdered one. I don't know who he is; I don't ask for his name. I don't question him. I only love how he makes me feel, how he makes me forget just how alone I am in this world, and for now, that's all I need. We have three rules: 1) No sex. 2) No personal questions. 3) No leaving the hotel room until morning. Not ever. For four months, I followed the rules. I came to the hotel room every Wednesday night, and his presence never failed to cure me. I was happy with him. But one night, he doesn't show. So when I hear a scream down the hallway, I can't help myself. I break rule number three. I leave the room. My life has never been the same since.
Well guess what? The awesomeness started and ended there. The rest was an extremely painful torture in the form of a book..
and don't you dare asking me this..
Just found the strength to talk about it.
But to be honest, where should I begin?
EVERYTHING was very DISAPPOINTING and by everything, I mean every freaking thing!
Sebastian was the hero and Crystal was the heroine.
Since I'm not a sexist person, I disliked them both at the same rate, which was : very much.
Firstly, lets talk about Crystal.
She was an idiot.
A cold hearted one at that.
Next, there's Sebastian.
He was a hot dangerous guy.
A ridiculously emotional one at that.
Well, this is their weird and ridiculous story!
They met and I cringed -> he proposed a weirder-than-weird arrangement and she somehow-ridiculously accepted the proposal -> they met every Wednesday doing NOTHING at a hotel suite till something happened -> her life was changed, and my patience was tested -> some questions got answered albeit a bit too f*cking late for my liking -> a monster was born -> the end!
about the book..
about the plot..
and especially about the characters..
but since they were haunting me anyway, here's my rant for the book ;)
The one star rating was purely a CONSEQUENCE for a strings of RIDICULOUS EVENTS that happened in the book...It was also a RESULT of certain STUPID things said by the CHARACTERS in the book.
Lets see the first thing that ticked me off. It started with a C and ended with an L, yeah you got it right, it's CRYSTAL, the weirdo!
Tears sting at my eyes once the realization strikes again: that there is no one left in this world that stills loves me. That I have no one, not even family, not even friends. I just have Sebastian. - Crystal
She was wrong, she did have a f*cking friend, Ash, who was so f*cking nice and concerned about her! I guess she was just one of those b*tches who could detect a hot male miles away but never great friend who was standing f*cking in front of them!
girl, stop moping about not having something you already have!!!
I've always loved Wednesdays, because Wednesdays mean Sebastian, and Sebastian means happiness. He is the one person who never fails to make me feel okay, feel normal. No--he makes me feel better than normal. He makes me feel alive. And I haven't felt alive since my parents died two years ago.
If the weird arrangement was her normal..I couldn't figure out what abnormality would be for her, because meeting a stranger when you know nothing about him every week is not normally normal for other people. It was downright abnormal and dangerous!
I was secretly questioning her insanity at this point.
She said that she knew about Stockholm Syndrome..
I'm not an idiot. I know all about Stockholm Syndrome. It's sure as hell not happening to me.
I love Sebastian.
I love everything about him.
Even though I shouldn't.
Even though I know it's wrong.
I love him.
I love that I'm his prisoner.
I love everything about our setup.
I can't even get a real job. <--hmm girl, did you even try to do so? Because last I heard, you were quite content with your current job..you said these, don't you remember?
I spend my days going to my job at Starbucks, talking to Ash, eating, sleeping, and then repeating it all over again.
That's what my life has become: a never-ending repetition. I'm just living to get over the next day, and then the next day, and then the next day, until it's Wednesday and I'm with Sebastian again
I can't even have a real friend without it going bad. <--- newsflash girl, you were the one that say you couldn't connect, not that you seemed to try to, with her! Remember this? :
Technically, Ash is my one friend, although we aren't really friends. I don't especially connect with her, and she doesn't connect with me, either. So why bother complaining about it?!
and then she was also kept as a prisoner by Sebastian, for her safety..
He feels good, holding me like this, as he steers me up a hill of some sort. He feels really, really good. And I realize I should be thinking about how to escape or something, or how much I hate him for locking me up, but I just… I can't.
Seriously girl, I thought you f*cking need to get out of there. remember saying this ---> I need to get out of here, I tell myself. I need to get out of here! ??? Make up your f*cking mind!!!
But her worst attitude that landed on my Bitches-I-Would-Love-to-Kill list is her attitude handling this situation:
...people running up the stairs, gunfire everywhere, and then… Sebastian. Screaming at me. Telling me to save her from these men..
They got attacked at the hotel suite. She did not know by whom, except that Sebastian had killed them all and that they had managed to kill her non-friend, Ash, before he got to them.
She went unconscious, but woke up later and found Sebastian with her in a room.
He had been taking care of her...
Guess what was her first question was?
whatever your guess was would be wrong because she asked f*cking nothing!
what did she asked instead? Nothing..she just did this:
"You bastard!" I scream despite myself, tears burning into my eyes. "I trusted you! And look what you do! You betray me!"This is where I felt like I could actually die of frustration!
She was a f*cking idiot! A not-normal one at that!
Normal people would have asked about what f*cking happened and why it happened to them, they'd have asked "What f*cking happened?", but she wasn't normal. She was obviously mentally retarded.
I can't handle her!!!
Since she was..
..I'll leave her at that..
Next, I'd like to introduce you to Sebastian
Like I said earlier, he was the dangerous emotional guy aka the cryptic creeper..
Lets start with one particular event shall we?
the event after The Attack, when he was keeping her prisoner..
S: "Did I upset you?"
C: "Are you fucking kidding me?" "You locked me up here!"
S: "That was to save you." (OMG, keep repeating that again and again without explaining it, Sebastian, I just love torturing myself wondering f*cking why!)
C: "I don't need to be saved." (Seriously she was supposed to ask from what or why she needed saving, not acting like she was too f*cking mighty to receive help!)
S: "Yes, you do."
C: "You don't--"
S: "Do you know why I know you need saving, angel?"
"I know you need saving because you're like me!" "We're both fucked up people. We're both shards of what we once were. We both need saving. We both need… we need… we need each other. We need each other to put back the shards of ourselves." (Seriously Sebastian??? You're effing kidding me right? I thought that you both were attacked by bad men , not by the f*cking past! And dude, why are you suddenly being emotional like a girl? You should explain the PROBLEMS, not pouring your heart out at this inappropriate time! Talking bout being cryptic..)
"These men… I can't let them hurt you. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if they did, so I'm keeping you here to protect you from them." (hmm that made sense, but he was still not f*cking telling us any useful info to figure out what the heck he was talking about!)
well the event frustrated me, but something else irritated the hell out me:
His use of the endearment Angel has never made me feel sicker than this book did!
"I fucking saved you, angel!" ~ "If that's what you want, angel," ~ "Morning, angel." ~ I love you, angel. ~ That's enough now, angel. ~ "Are you okay, my angel?" ~ "I don't know, angel,"
it was used for at least 154 times, I kid you not! The word is now stuck in my head like a haunting memory! This is what we call, THE OVERUSE OF WORD. He never called her by her given name after their first meeting, using the endearment as if she was some kind of kid, what a creep! He made my skin crawled.
But that didn't creep me out as much as the next event:
"Did you not notice? I fed you. I gave you water. I showered you. I've been the perfect gentleman for the last two days, all because of you!" He drops his voice. "I never even touched you," he says, like he's whispering the darkest secret in the world.
The showering thing was to the extent of dressing her and applying her freaking lipstick!
And he was a guy at that!
and he got even creepier...
Crystals: "What are you doing?"
Sebastian: "Something I should have done long ago." His voice is filled with need.
"I need you to do something for me," "Do you think you can do that?"
Me: hmm you sound cryptic, Sebastian...
Crystal: "What do you want?"
Sebastian: "I need you to dance for me, angel."
the author never explained why he asked her to dance for him...Some kind of creepy psycho thing I guess..
"You're beautiful, angel,"
and asked her confirmation of this
"Did you know that?"
when she was nothing but too f*cking aware of it!
Secretly, I think he was a creepy psycho, with a missing fuses or two.."I leave everyone. I don't get happiness. I only get abandonment."
hmm my dear Sebastian, when you leave people, you abandon them. And when they get abandoned, they become the ones who get the abandonments, not the one who f*cking left in the first place!
I'm sick of correcting these two when they couldn't even hear me so I'm done with this!